In Bradberry's article titled "18 Behaviors of Emotionally Intelligent People" (2015), he lists certain qualities that people with emotional intelligence (or EQ) possess. Out of those listed 18 characteristics I feel that I can safely say that some of them I have a good grasp on, while others I need to explore more. The qualities that I feel I possess include letting go of mistakes, I appreciate what I have, and I stop negative self talk. I am not one to dwell on my past mistakes for very long. Since my true passion in life is riding horses, I will use an example from that. Every year I compete in shows on my horse. Every year I have goals and things I want to improve on. During the time I have competed, I have had a lot of ups and downs. There are a lot of emotions fluttering around on the show grounds. I tend to get anxious and my nerves sometimes get the best of me, and unfortunately my current show horse has the tendency to take advantage of my insecurities at shows. I make a lot of mistakes, but I am still growing and learning from all of my mistakes. Often times I will be very upset with how a particular show went. I may cry or have a small pity party, but never for very long. I take those mistakes and use them to my advantage by setting a new goal or by reassuring myself that just because I made a mistake doesn't mean I haven't made progress. This ties in to the negative self talk as well. In my horse life and my work life, I strive to never talk negatively to or about myself. I have found that negative self talk is the fastest way to become defeated and feel inadequate. At work I make a point to talk myself up in my head when I have to accomplish a task I'm not comfortable with yet. It also helps to show confidence, even if inside you are not feeling all that confident. The outer appearance of confidence helps patients feel more confident and comfortable as well, even if inside you are a bundle of nerves.
The qualities that I feel I can work on include disconnecting, getting enough sleep and embracing change. Thankfully I feel that these are things I can actively work on improving. I have the tendency to grab my phone or laptop when I am bored or procrastinating. Rather than doing that, I should grab a book or take my dog for a walk or anything else that gets me off the couch and engaging with the world around me. Often times I don't get enough sleep because I decide to watch movies late at night and then have to wake up early the next morning. That is something I can definitely change. Finally, embracing change is sometimes difficult for me to do. If it is a change I am excited about, it is no problem. If it is a change that seems scary or unsettling, then I often times will reject the change and try to keep things the "old way" as long as possible.
Henry Cloud's article titled "Ten Things Successful People Never do Again" (2014) was a great article to read in my opinion. I very much agree with all of the 10 points he made. I would consider my dad to be a successful person in his work and personal life and I see all of these attributes in him. If I was going to add a few more attributes to the list I would add 1. Never saying no, and 2. Having only time for work and nothing else. I think it is very important to realize that you cannot say yes to everyone all the time. For example, if your charge nurse asks you to work an extra shift, which would make it your 4th in a row, I think it is perfectly acceptable to say no if you emotionally or physically need a break, or if you already have something else planned for that day. Constantly saying yes to everything becomes very tiring. Also, to me it is important to have a personal life and hobbies outside of your work life. I have a coworker who does not really have any hobbies and sometimes will pick up 2 extra shifts per week. I have asked him before why he does that, even when he is dead tired, and his answer is always "what else am I going to do?" I think it is vital to have outside stimulation from areas other than work to stay rejuvenated and healthy.
The video Rethinking Thinking is something that I think would benefit a lot of people in healthcare.
I am very much guilty of making quick judgments sometimes, so this video appealed to me. Often times situations happen in the hospital that we cannot control or that we would want to happen differently. Lab may be slow to come draw blood on a patient, IV therapy may take longer to make it to the patient's room to insert a new IV, or a patient's family member may be hovering over you and watching your every move. Most of the time these things become annoying after a while and frustration or anger emerge. However, this video was great at explaining that those other people can be going through a situation of their own that needs special attention or they just have a different way of thinking. It is important to be mindful of other people and not always jump to the conclusion that they are just slow or don't care or are being purposefully annoying.
Along those same lines, Simon Sinek's video "Why to Wait Before Making an Emotional Decision" (2011) made me realize that sometimes you need to take a step back and "take a breather."
It is important to calm down from a heated situation before making a decision on what the proper way is to handle that particular situation. Sometimes you will find that taking action is in fact necessary, but sometimes it isn't, like in the example he used of responding to a frustrating email. I find myself "taking a breather" at work often. Whether it is because of a coworker, a patient or family member, or ancillary staff. Stepping away from the situation before causing a scene or adding unhelpful information is very important, especially when dealing with patients and family.
References:
Bradberry, T. (2015). 18 Behaviors of emotionally intelligent people. Retrieved from http://time.com/3838524/emotional-intelligence-signs/
Capture Your Flag. (2011). Simon Sinek: Why to wait before making an emotional decision. [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIIJIqLmptg
Cloud, H. (2014). 10 Things successful people never do again. Retrieved from http://www.success.com/article/10-things-successful-people-never-do-again
TED-Ed. (2012). Rethinking thinking-Trevor Maber. [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJLqOclPqis
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